Monday, November 17, 2014

Depression and the Cross of Christ

  I struggle with depression.  I don't mean "oh I get blue sometime", no I mean, actual, factual I've been on medication for it depression.  People hear the word depression, and they think of someone who doesn't want to do anything.  That's not depression.  Depression is like feeling you don't have the energy to do anything.  You want to be isolated from everyone, and let out a good cry.  Most of the time, it helps.  I have no qualms about admitting this, since it was in 2006, I think, but I used to be a self-harmer.  Used to cut my self on a semi-regularly basis.  I heard from people that I had "done something stupid", well, that's not going to make me better now is it?  I have an Anglican Church In North America friend that has had some trouble with self harm in the past, so I asked her one thing people yelling at her wouldn't, "why"?   But depression goes deeper than that.  There may be a reason for her cutting, but there might not be a reason for her depression (note that she did have a miscarriage this year, but she had those issues before she was ever pregnant).  I can break down crying, and my mother will ask me "what is wrong, why are you depressed"?  And the correct answer (if you are not good at biology) is depression does not have to have a cause.  I can't say that Faith in Christ will make my depression go away, but it can make it more bearable, even Jesus Wept for his friend (John 11:35).  One thing I do know, is that we all have our cross to bear, (Luke 14:27) and this happens to be mind.  I think many people (my now Anti Catholic friend, included) think that depression comes from the lack of Faith in God.  I think if I didn't have Faith in God, I wouldn't accept that I am in this way.  It's a struggle, but in the end, it's worth it.  I'm just looking forward to this day " he will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning nor crying nor pain any more, for the former things have passed away.” (John 21:4)

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